Health Updates, and a Thanksgiving

Feel free to skip this post if you just read the blog for updates on the kids. I am posting this here because it's the easiest way to inform everyone all at once, but I won't be offended at all if you don't actually care about my chronic health problems. :)

I am mostly doing okay. Still battling the anxiety. (Sometimes I think about trying to find counseling, but for some reason, it feels like an impossible task.) Some days are harder than others, but we are managing, and that's good.

In terms of physical health, I have noticed an improvement in my arthritis in the last several weeks which I guess is due to the methotrexate. I am still not happy to be on it, but I am grateful to be able to walk longer distances again.

Unfortunately, I have still been having a lot of neck pain, both muscle pain in the back of my neck,  as well as pain in the front of the neck. I ended up on strong painkillers and muscle relaxants a while back because my neck got so stiff I couldn't move it.

My doctor decided to have x-rays done to see if there was a reason for the stiffness in the back. When the results came back, I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disease in my C2/3 and C4/5 discs. It sounded really scary when she first told me, but turns out it's not too bad. It explains a lot of the stiffness I've been having, as well as some scalp issues. (Apparently the C2/3 disc affects the nerves to your scalp if it gets inflamed. It means I often feel like I've been wearing a tight ponytail, even though I haven't.)

So that diagnosis is manageable. It's not something they can fix, but I am going to talk to my rheumatologist next month about managing the symptoms and keeping it from getting worse (hopefully).

The x-rays don't explain the pain in the front of my neck, which so far my doctors and dentists have just attributed to TMJ. I'm not really sure if I believe that's what it is, but I think that's a result of my anxiety. I am often afraid that they are missing something more serious. My doctor offered to do an ultrasound of the front of my neck, but since she doesn't really think it's anything serious, and I am trying not to be an alarmist, we are holding off on that for now. The anxiety about it has been worse this week because my glands have been swollen (I've been battling a cold). At any rate, I know I am a hypochondriac, so for all I know it could be stress-related.

I am writing this all out because sometimes if I keep it in my head, I get overwhelmed and depressed and scared. But talking (or writing) about it helps me put it in perspective, and maybe feel a little less worried.

So, I am going to end on a positive, Thanksgiving-ish note because, despite my challenges, I am so grateful for my life.

I am so grateful for Erik--for his patience, and his support, and his willingness to listen to me over and over and over again. He is truly one of the best men I know, and the decision to marry him was the best one I have ever made. I am grateful for his work ethic, his love for his children, his devotion to our Savior and his dedication in serving. He is a great example, and I feel myself trying to be a better person because of him. He brought me flowers last night, not for any special occasion, and it meant so much to me. Erik, you are my greatest blessing in this life. As much as I grumble about NYC, I would rather be here with you, than anywhere else without you. (Except for a few weeks in the summer!)

I am so grateful for Ginny. Ginny is so crafty, and creative, and full of enthusiasm. She loves to create, create, create. She is a great reader, and a people person. She gets so excited to spend time with her friends, and to go to school. She fights the Spanish, but she is really improving  and trying this year which has been wonderful to watch. She can be sassy sometimes, and has a bit of attitude (doesn't get that from me. . . ). One day at the park, she was mad at me and she yelled "Mom, I H-A-T-E-Y-O-U!" as she ran off. Less than a minute later, she ran back and yelled, "Actually, I L-O-V-E-Y-O-U!" and then ran off again. They are practicing spelling this year at school and she has been spelling out all sorts of words, instead of just saying them. :) She brings so much joy and fun to our family.

Ezra is still a bundle of joyful energy, and thankfully less destructive these days. I love watching him draw, and color, and learn how to read and write. He has matured a lot in the last several months. He is making more and more elaborate projects with his legos and his magna-tiles, and he is a great friend and great brother. His drawings are often funny, and such a reflection of his crazy, exciting personality. He loves superheroes and Rescue Bots and being my big helper. His prayers can be so sweet. He prays for individuals he knows, as well as categories of people he doesn't. They are sometimes funny, and sometimes so heartfelt. He is a great little boy!

And Isaac is going through his delightful, 3-year-old-independent phase, but we still love him. He loves to help out. He likes to clean with me, cook with me, sweep and mop the floor, clean the mirrors, etc. You name it, he will help me with it. He is my little puppy dog--following me around all day long. Always wanting to sit close to me (or sit on me). He responds to touch like no one else I know. It is his love language, and while sometimes I find that hard to bear (when he insists on sleeping in my bed and touching me all night long), I secretly really love him for it. I love all the hugs and kisses he so freely gives to me and Erik. What a delight he is, and I am incredibly grateful for him.

There are so many other people and things I could name on this blog that I am thankful for, and I wish I had time to do it, but I need to get back to the kids, so I am just mentioning a few. My life has brought an abundance of people who have been such good influences on me. Parents, brothers and sisters (you guys are the best!) , in-laws (I could not have asked for better ones), NYC friends (Leah, Tiffany, Melissa, Angela, so many others--I could not have thrived for 7 years in this city without you!), Utah friends (Anoush, Sarah, etc.--I miss you all!), Ohio friends (Sarah, Melody, Robin), cousins (Stacy, Kaylyn, Lisa), aunts, uncles, grandparents, former roommates (Lindsey--I am reminded of you so often), classmates, teachers, co-workers (Vickie!), neighbors, church friends, and so many others. How grateful I am for all of you and the ways you have blessed and shaped my life!

Despite any challenges I have faced, and whatever may come, I am grateful to be here, doing the things I am doing, with the people who surround me and love me and support me!

I am grateful for my Father in Heaven who loves me and listens to me and knows me and still loves me. I am grateful for my Savior. For the hope He brings. For the peace He promises me. For His love and His influence in my life. I hope I can be more and more like Him each day.

Happy Thanksgiving!