Last Week (Or, Aunt Mari Saves My Skin)

Erik's sister, Mari, came to visit us last week. We were really excited to have someone come visit, especially as Erik was going to be out of town for a few days at a conference. Her visit turned out to be especially providential when, on Tuesday, our bishop asked for someone to take in a little girl from our ward whose mom (a single mother) needed to be hospitalized.

Erik offered immediately. So, on Tuesday afternoon, I headed to the ER to pick up Tenzin. She is Ginny's age, and in her primary class at church. Her mother is very sick, and we're not really sure how long she will need to be in the hospital. I'm hoping it won't be too much longer, as Tenzin really misses her mom. She seems very happy during the day when she is busy and at school and playing with the kids, but at night she struggles to sleep, and often cries for her mom.

Having her here has certainly been an adjustment for all of us. I keep thinking of the movie "The Blind Side," and how when I saw it, I always hoped I would be like that mother--seeing a need, and being willing to fill it. I guess you can say that we are doing that, although there are fundamental differences in our situations. But I have been feeling so guilty over not being unequivocally happy about having Tenzin here. In the movie, it seems like the mom just jumped in with both feet and never looked back. I struggled to want to jump in at all.

I guess I'm sharing this because so many people over the last week have been praising me for helping out, and it makes me very uncomfortable. I feel that the praise is undeserved. When the bishop first reached out about it, Erik was quick to volunteer. He didn't hesitate. That is part of what I love about Erik. He is a wonderful man, and tries so hard to do what is right and be Christlike. I am so grateful to have married him.
On the other hand, I did hesitate. A lot. There may have been tears of stress involved. I kept thinking about all of the logistics of it. The unknowns. The changes it would bring to our family.

This little girl and her mom undoubtedly need our help. Her mother's condition is serious, and I'm glad she doesn't have to worry about her little girl while she is getting the help she needs. But I just kept thinking about having to go back and forth between two different schools and the hospital each day, without the help of a car. And what about Tenzin's emotional state? I don't feel qualified to help her with that. What if she gets sick? Can I even take her to the doctor without any legal right to her? I wondered what her eating habits were? Would she adjust to ours? What are her sleeping habits? Would we have to drastically change our routine to accommodate her? How long would she need to stay with us? Was this going to turn into a long-term situation? We have a trip scheduled to visit friends at the end of March. Would we still be able to go?

All of these thoughts, and others like it, were running through my head.

I still don't have answers to all of these questions. She doesn't particularly care for our eating habits, but she is adjusting. Her sleep routines are very different from those we have set for our children, and that has caused some serious sleep deprivation and grumpy kiddos (and mom) in the apartment. We are still adjusting to that. Our afternoons are very crowded these days between two school pick-ups, visits to the hospital, lots of homework (Tenzin has even more than Ginny, and I thought Ginny's was a lot!), etc. Our bishop's wife offered to provide dinner this week, and that was a big help today. Tenzin really liked the dinner she brought, too, and actually ate a lot of it, so that was also very helpful!

Anyway, I am know it will all work out. We are hoping Tenzin's mother will get better soon, so they can be reunited. I know the separation has been just as hard on her mother as it has been on Tenzin. And in the meantime, we will continue to adjust, and hopefully provide Tenzin with a stable, loving home for the time being.

I do wish I could say that I took her in without reservation, but even though I didn't, I do know that Lord is aware of our situation, and He is helping us. Mari being here at the beginning was a huge blessing. She was able to extend her trip, so she was here until Erik returned. Tenzin loved "Aunt Mari" and wanted to do everything with her. Mari helped her with homework, read to her at night when she was sad, and gave her all of the attention she needed to help her adjust to our noisy, busy apartment. I am so grateful she was able to be here for us!

I've realized over the past week how lucky I am to have such a great support network. If ever Erik or I had to be in the hospital for an extended time, we have ample friends and family we know would jump to help us. I guess one of the great things about the gospel is that it teaches us to be that support for everyone. It's trite, but we are all part of the same heavenly family, after all.

This is a pretty rambling post, I realize, but it's just some things I've been thinking about. I would like to ask for your prayers. Please pray for Tenzin's mother to get better, and for Tenzin to feel comforted while she is away from her mom. And please pray for us, to know how we can best help her.

And please pray for me to have energy, and pray that I can learn to have patience--especially when exhausted. I obviously didn't learn it after three babies, so that one may just be too much to hope for. . .  :)